No Longer Living On Life’s Back Burner
It’s time to reframe the narrative around midlife and menopause. I for one have done had it with the way women are portrayed in our midlife years and beyond.
Frail, Fragile & Bitter
We are depicted as frail in body, fragile in mind, and bitter in spirit. We are told that our best days are behind us and we should shrink into the shadows while accepting the “fact” that we no longer have much of anything to offer after our ovaries “dry up”.
I beg to differ. And so does every single woman I know.
When our bodies are winding down the “biological clock”, we are simultaneously winding up our “take on the world” clock.
I’ll give more thought to that term later, but here’s why I say this…
Menopause is designed into our human experience with purpose. I specifically state “with purpose” because the Designer made no mistake.
From Back Burner To Front & Center
Menopause a time of metamorphosis. And as with the butterfly, when we surrender to the process, we too can evolve into that person we have always wanted to become. We do this by actively removing ourselves from the back burner to explore more fully what we really, really, really want in life.
This burner-shift is facilitated by our newly reorganized hormonal equilibrium. As our estrogen profiles weigh more heavily towards estrone (E1), we are better able to fuel the fires in our bellies. This tip in the scales enables us to move from that crusted-over back burner to front-and-center. It is this newly tuned hOrmonic symphony that helps us become more creative, more self-forward, and more vibrant with our overall experience as a person at the center of our newfound priorities.
When done well, this burner-shift is liberating. When done poorly, it is nothing shy of dangerous. And a source for many a woman blowing up her life instead of dismantling the ticking time bomb that’s been swept under that fabulous throw rug for far too long.
The dismantling IS the unraveling.
Simply put, our unraveling is an opportunity for us to examine our lives as objectively as possible given the tools and skill sets we possess. During this transformative phase, we come to one of life’s major “forks in the road”. One prong leads to more of the same; the other leads to the unknown which is always accompanied by fear of some magnitude.
Proactive Or Reactive?
I see the unraveling we each experience as either proactive or reactive. We can go into this phase proactively with eyes-wide-open; knowing full well we have work to do as far as coming to grips with our past while grounding ourselves in the now, and ultimately designing a future we want to bring to life.
Or we can opt for the reactive approach to our midlife unraveling, which could also be called the “hope and pray way”. In other words, we hope and pray our past doesn’t catch up with us, we don’t sit still long enough to actually feel our feelings in the now, and we keep living the life others have chosen for us while longing for a life we so desperately want to live. This option results from not making a choice and letting the chips fall where they may. Not the more empowering of the two options, but it is an option nonetheless.
Unless one is comfortable with being uncomfortable, the fear of the unknown keeps many a good woman stuck. She’s often locked in a tailspin that she gets rather used to, therefore she “sucks it up” and accepts that “this is just the way it is”.
The KNOW >> FEEL >> DO Methodology
There’s one thing that unites all women. That “thing” is the fact we have a complex hormonal dance underlying every single thing we do. And it can help or hinder us in all aspects of life. If you take nothing else away from this article, take this … you do not have to live at the mercy of your hormones.
You can optimize them by implementing The KNOW >> FEEL >> DO Methodology.
In a nutshell, the KNOW >> FEEL >> DO Methodology is a framework that helps you unravel your experiences, shed that which no longer serves you, lean into what does, and pursue the missing pieces of your personal development puzzle. It takes the form of a trio of circles that when overlapped, as in a Venn diagram, they form an area in which you can hone in to then get to work.
The KNOW portion of the methodology has to do with the intelligence that resides in our heads. The thinking, the knowing, the understanding of it all; that type of intelligence.
The FEEL portion of the methodology has to do with the intelligence residing in our hearts. The feeling, the emoting, the empathizing; those are some of the qualities we house in our hearts.
The third part of our trio is the DO portion. This is the type of intelligence that resides in our bodies; in our gut, our core; it’s the intelligence we feel deep within. We just know it to be true.
No matter where along the hormonal continuum you find yourself today, if you jive with my vibe, I invite you to look into the community of rebellious midlife women I’m cultivating around me.
When Is Midlife?
Midlife is fluid in timing, and I see it as that time in which we have some life experiences that have both humbled as well as inspired us, and we know there is so much more we want to explore, so we’re willing to rally and set forth on a path that actually serves us.
Midlife is whenever you claim it is. From your 20s to your triple-digit years…you define your “midlife”.
A Successful Burner-Shift
Successfully pulling off your “burner-shift” is no simple feat. Everywhere you go, the status quo wants you to shrink. We want you to take up “all the space”.
To do so, you’ll need a heaping helping of grit and stick-to-it-ness. Along with support from those who get where you’re coming from, understand what you are seeking and why, and those women who seek the same level of transformation for themselves.
The best way I can recommend you set out on this quest is to join us in the Unraveling Together Community. It’s a free resource hosted off social media on a Mighty Network. You can pop in on the regular from both your desktop and our user-friendly app.
I am carefully curating this community to ensure it is a place for you to lean into during this powerful time of transition. As we lean in, we grow in ways we’ve not been able to do just yet. The alchemy of navigating life and business with others on a similar path, allows you to tap into this transition and come out the other side at peace with your body, your mind, and fully aware of what lights you up as a person.
Request to join us at www.UnravelingTogether.com