To Love Thyself Is To Know Thyself

Self-care is a phrase we’re all familiar with thanks to social media. One we don’t hear as often is self-love; or when we do hear the term, it is painted with a negative brush. Self-love is often misconstrued as being full of oneself, conceited…narcissistic even. Self-love is none of those things.

Today, I peel back the love layers to the level at which self-love resides.

Self-love is the genesis of the ability to love all others.

As such, self-love is at the core of the cornucopia d’amore (“of love” for you non-Italian speaking folk) that is bountiful within each and every one of us.

While we’re on the topic of different languages, this is something I’ve pondered for some time now…why is it that in the English language we have but one word for “love”? Heck, even sign-language has more than one version for the one word, “love”.

Self-Love Defined

I’ll define “self-love” as having a deep and true regard for our own wellbeing and happiness. It is an inborn trait. And one the world seems rather preoccupied with wringing out of us on a daily basis.
In the forging of our society (as fragmented as it is right now), we are taught to ignore our own selves to focus on “the greater good”. I take issue with this way of thinking.

Humor me for a moment as I walk you through my thoughts on this.

“The Greater Good”

Let’s start with a dive deep into “the greater good” reasoning.

I propose to you that what is good for the “greater” is what is good for the one.

If we were to have more of us who love ourselves we would inherently love those in the category of the “greater”, for that is all others, am I right? When one cultivates the love of self they are in turn cultivating a love for others. This love cannot be separated, they are one and the same. The love of one is critical to the concept of “the greater good”.

If and when we break free from the confines of society to return to the core of self-love, we will better know our true self and the reason for which we are here. It is a lack of clarity around those two core quandaries that fuels many conflicts, internally and externally. When we know thyself, we forego the inner (and outer) conflict we collectively marinate in these days.

Just look around…do you think any of these people we see ranting and raving truly love themselves? Of course not. And how can we expect them to? They’ve never been free to do so.

I’m not sitting around waiting for permission to deepen my love of self…are you?  (I sure hope you’re not either.)

Does It Jive With You? Yes? Then Dive Deep.

There are many means by which we can cultivate self-love, therefore dig deeper into knowing thyself. Self-development and transformation get as much play as does self-care. Where’s the love for self-love?

The key is to find something you jive with and dive deep. Deep deep.

If you just doggy-paddle on the self-love surface you’ll look busy, but all you’ll really be is tired, and wet, and probably cold.

So I advise you to avoid that approach.

Stick around and plug into my musings through this blog, my YouTube channel, or follow me on LinkedIn at the handle @drsamgraber. It is my greatest intent to create a dialogue around some of the topics we just don’t talk about.

I’m One Of Those Weirdos Who…

I look forward to intelligent and heart-felt conversations. Ones in which we both come out the other side more fulfilled and with a better understanding of the other. You see, I’m one of those weirdos who actually likes to hear from those who have differing opinions. It is these differences that season our lives so richly. They stem from different experiences at different stages that resulted in the same wringing out of our inborn trait of self-love. And when the conflict marinade is boiled down, we are more similar than we are different at our cores.

I am confident that the more we focus on truly loving ourselves to our core, the more authentically we will know ourselves. When we know our true selves we will operate from our inborn center of direction which will help us fulfill our deepest of desires. This is a beautiful positive-feedback loop and one that is absolutely in the interest of “the greater good”. For self-love truly is the genesis of the ability to love all others.

In future musings I’ll dive deeper into examining our lives. In my humble opinion the causes of many a “midlife crisis” lay at the feet of this examination, or more accurately, the lack thereof.

A proactive midlife unraveling is where the umami of life surfaces. Often following a rapid boil.