{"id":1126,"date":"2022-09-07T04:11:33","date_gmt":"2022-09-07T04:11:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/?p=1126"},"modified":"2022-09-08T18:51:35","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T18:51:35","slug":"perimenopause-questions-to-ask-our-inner-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/perimenopause-questions-to-ask-our-inner-self\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cAm I Losing It?\u201d And Other Questions We Ask Ourselves In Perimenopause."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cAm I losing it Dr. Sam?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a question <\/strong>asked of me by too many women <\/strong>to count, so I wanted to share <\/strong>some thoughts.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To lose <\/strong>something one must possess <\/strong>said something in the first place.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And honestly, \u201cIt<\/strong>\u201d is not <\/strong>amongst my possessions <\/strong>now, nor at any time in my past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not <\/strong>even sure \u201cIt\u201d is worth having<\/strong> anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u201d is the well-coiffed, highly refined Outer Self <\/strong>who (supposedly) has it all together<\/strong>. She\u2019s the Outer Self we show others <\/strong>and break our necks<\/strong> trying to keep <\/strong>\u201cjust right\u201d.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u201d is a lie<\/strong>.  Or at least an embellishment <\/strong>of what is true underneath one\u2019s facade.  She is not <\/strong>our authentic <\/strong>self.  Yet we\u2019ve spent a lifetime <\/strong>on her construction<\/strong>, so we\u2019re rather attached <\/strong>to keeping her intact<\/strong>.  She\u2019s familiar <\/strong>to us as well as others in our lives.  And that brings us comfort<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is until perimenopause arrives <\/strong>on scene.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Comfort Zone?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Peri kicks <\/strong>the door down, summons <\/strong>all the flips* we never gave and then displays them flip by flip<\/strong> in alphabetical order for our sorting <\/strong>pleasure and twenty-four seven mental rumination<\/strong>.  (Choose your 4-letter F-word<\/strong>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prefer a chronological <\/strong>ordering to your \u201cflips never given\u201d?  She\u2019s got you<\/strong>! Simply ask, and she delivers<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perimenopause is a built-in<\/strong> physiological shift <\/strong>in our sex hormone<\/strong> profile.  Consider her a shape-shifter <\/strong>at her core.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peri introduces herself somewhat gingerly<\/strong>\u2026at first. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She may take shape as what feels <\/strong>like random <\/strong>changes in your period<\/strong>, an occasional word <\/strong>escape (forgetting an uber-common word mid-sentence), or a flash of heat <\/strong>from what feels like out of nowhere\u2026 maybe hell<\/strong>, but that\u2019s up for debate.  She may choose <\/strong>from a whole host of other seemingly unrelated things <\/strong>as well.  Her quiver <\/strong>is full.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Menopause Is Not A Disease<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Contrary <\/strong>to popular press <\/strong>and the disease-care model<\/strong> in which we\u2019ve been steeped our entire lives, menopause is not a disease<\/em><\/strong>.  I repeat, menopause is not <\/strong>a disease. Nor is the transition <\/strong>leading up to it or unfolding afterwards.  <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

From peri- to post- menopause<\/strong>, this transition is a natural <\/strong>experience in a woman\u2019s life.  It is a rite of passage<\/strong>.  And a very powerful <\/strong>one at that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact these experiences are called \u201csymptoms<\/strong>\u201d has led us on a wild-goose chase<\/strong> looking for \u201ccures\u201d and \u201ctreatments\u201d when we would be better served seeking <\/strong>the answers <\/strong>to one simple question, \u201cWhat am I trying to tell myself?\u201d<\/em><\/strong>  Whether the question is asked by our body<\/strong>, our mind<\/strong>, or our emotional heart<\/strong>, the person we need to be asking is our Self<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our Inner Self <\/strong>that is.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Menopause<\/strong>, and all the stages thereof, is not <\/strong>something to be drugged<\/strong> or treated.  It is not <\/strong>something to be feared <\/strong>either.  And let me save you from yourself<\/strong>, don\u2019t even think of trying to outsmart or outrun <\/strong>her with your busyness <\/strong>whilst sporting your Wonder Woman <\/strong>Bracelets of Submission<\/em><\/strong> (doesn\u2019t every Gen-X chick<\/strong> have a pair?).  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peri Waits For No One.  <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You see, there is no powering through perimenopause<\/strong>.  In fact, in my experience, the more I tried to power through, the more peri- pushed back<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s persistent<\/strong>.  Ubiquitous <\/strong>in fact.  And she calls the shots<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have two choices<\/strong> when Peri joins the Inner Self\u2019s roster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Option No. 1:  You listen <\/strong>to her.  And act <\/strong>accordingly. <\/li>
  • Option No. 2:  You experience the reckoning <\/strong>of all reckonings.  <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    The choice <\/strong>is yours.  No skin off her nose.  Seriously, she\u2019s fine <\/strong>either way.  You are on her calendar <\/strong>and she does not entertain<\/strong> schedule change <\/strong>requests.    <\/p>\n\n\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

    Perimenopause demands <\/strong>of us an unraveling<\/strong>.  You determine whether it’s the reactive <\/strong>variety or the proactive<\/strong>.  In short, an unraveling is a self-examination<\/strong> in which we work through our past<\/strong>, get grounded in the present<\/strong>, and design a future <\/strong>we look forward to on every level.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    People are primed for an<\/strong> unraveling <\/strong>when they\u2019ve had some experience <\/strong>under their belts.  Some experiences they\u2019d consider \u201cgood<\/strong>\u201d, other experiences they could have lived without<\/strong>.  No matter the side of the ledger <\/strong>they\u2019d place an experience, they understand that their past <\/strong>makes them who they are in the present<\/strong>.  That said, they know they do not have to let their past define <\/strong>them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Perimenopause Is An \u201cEverything\u201d Thing<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Perimenopause is not <\/strong>only a \u201chormone<\/strong> thing\u201d, she is an \u201ceverything<\/strong>\u201d thing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Perimenopause is the nexus <\/strong>of everything we\u2019ve been through, the unspoken regrets<\/strong> we turn a blind eye to, as well as the time when all the emotions we bury deep<\/strong> decide to gang up on us.  In turn unleashing <\/strong>themselves in a wrath to which we can either attempt <\/strong>to \u201cpower through\u201d or allow <\/strong>ourselves to \u201clean into\u201d.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Even the most wondrous of Wonder Women<\/strong> among us are no match<\/strong> for perimenopause <\/strong>when we are not prepared<\/strong>, or when, like many of us, we mistakenly <\/strong>think we can outsmart <\/strong>her.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    She laughs in our faces, and rightfully so.  Who are we to think we can out -maneuver <\/strong>our deepest desires<\/strong>, our deepest secrets <\/strong>and our deepest regrets<\/strong>?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I entered <\/strong>the perimenopausal waters in my mid-40s<\/strong>.  I\u2019m not sure when exactly, for peri is more an \u201cohhh, that\u2019s what was going on\u201d kind of thing <\/strong>than the \u201cI know exactly what\u2019s happening\u201d kind of thing<\/strong>.  She\u2019s elusive <\/strong>until you acknowledge her presence.  \u2018Tis then when the murkiness clears<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Every woman<\/strong> will experience perimenopause.  There\u2019s no opting out<\/strong> no matter who you are and how important <\/strong>you may think what you\u2019ve got going on is.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Perimenopause 101<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Now, some don\u2019t even notice <\/strong>they\u2019re in perimenopause until they realize they\u2019ve not had a period <\/strong>for a long while, and then do the math<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    When we go 365 days<\/strong> without <\/strong>our period, we have experienced our menopause<\/strong>.  Menopause is an event<\/strong>.  Perimenopause <\/strong>is the timeframe of years <\/strong>(5-10 most commonly referenced) before <\/strong>we reach our Day 365.  Everything after <\/strong>that day is considered our post-menopause<\/strong> stage of life.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The average age<\/strong> a woman experiences her menopause is 51<\/strong>.  So when you do the math here, you could be blessed with many <\/strong>a decade <\/strong>after that point in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Perimenopause is unique <\/strong>to each of us, just as our cycles <\/strong>have been, our life <\/strong>experiences have been. Just as our everything <\/strong>has been.  There is no one-size-fits-all experience<\/strong>, nor is there a one-size-fits-all approach <\/strong>to working through it.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Something We Just Don\u2019t Talk About<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    In keeping with the societal script <\/strong>when it comes to experiencing life in a woman\u2019s body<\/strong>, perimenopause is something we just don\u2019t talk about<\/strong> but so desperately need to<\/strong> be talking about as a collective of women<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If you\u2019ve been in my ecosystem <\/strong>for longer than a day or two you know that I am changing <\/strong>that dire situation, with fervor <\/strong>no less.  We need to be talking about perimenopause, and transparently <\/strong>at that.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Women are suffering<\/strong>.  In silence<\/strong>.  In shame<\/strong>.  And neither is warranted<\/strong> when we shift the narrative from menopause being something that happens <\/strong>TO <\/em><\/strong>us, to something unfolding <\/strong>FOR <\/em><\/strong>us.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It\u2019s a radical <\/strong>and oh-so-fulfilling shift<\/strong>.  But society\u2019s narrative will try to pull you back<\/strong> to the \u201chappening TO <\/strong>you\u201d side at every turn, so you need to be fully-prepared<\/strong> and bring backup<\/strong>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Perimenopause <\/strong>is a powerful time to ask <\/strong>yourself the deeper questions<\/strong> of life.  And \u201cAm I Losing It?\u201d is not one <\/strong>of them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cAm I losing it Dr. Sam?\u201d This is a question asked of me by too many women to count, so I wanted to share some thoughts.   To lose something one must possess said something in the first place.   And honestly, \u201cIt\u201d is not amongst my possessions now, nor at any time in my past. I\u2019m…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1129,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"libsyn-item-id":0,"libsyn-show-id":0,"libsyn-post-error":"","libsyn-post-error_post-type":"","libsyn-post-error_post-permissions":"","libsyn-post-error_api":"","playlist-podcast-url":"","libsyn-episode-thumbnail":"","libsyn-episode-widescreen_image":"","libsyn-episode-blog_image":"","libsyn-episode-background_image":"","libsyn-post-episode-category-selection":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_thumbnail":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_theme":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_height":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_width":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_placement":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link_text":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_custom_color":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-explicit":"","libsyn-post-episode":"","libsyn-post-episode-update-id3":"","libsyn-post-episode-release-date":"","libsyn-post-episode-simple-download":"","libsyn-release-date":"","libsyn-post-update-release-date":"","libsyn-is_draft":"","libsyn-new-media-media":"","libsyn-post-episode-subtitle":"","libsyn-new-media-image":"","libsyn-post-episode-keywords":"","libsyn-post-itunes":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-season-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-type":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-title":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-author":"","libsyn-destination-releases":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-enabled":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-input-enabled":false,"libsyn-post-episode-premium_state":"","libsyn-episode-shortcode":"","libsyn-episode-embedurl":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[144,145,147,133],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1126"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1131,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1126\/revisions\/1131"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drsamgraber.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}