Flex-Your-Ive-Got-This

Flex Your “I’ve Got This” Muscle…Then Repeat

Perseverance is defined as the ability to stick to your goals and pursue them even in the midst of challenges and setbacks. You may lose all of your assets, you may become physically ill, or you may encounter a million other obstacles on your journey toward success, but you continue to focus on your goal. 

You continue to move forward, even after losing everything, you push on and finally accomplish your goals. This is precisely what having perseverance makes you do and this is a trait that all successful people have in common. They persevere and never take the back seat when they are forced to face a challenge. This is exactly why they succeed, and if you want to succeed in your journey, you will need to build perseverance as well. 

Here are five simple things that you can do to learn about persistence and to build your endurance. 

Know Your Goal

The first step to developing your perseverance is to know exactly what you want to achieve. You need to identify what you want so that you know what you need to work toward until the very end. Since you’re getting reacquainted with your sense of curiosity more, let your passion guide you here, you know what to do.

There are a plethora of online programs to help you develop your goals.  There is no magic to it.  That said, some methods are better than others.  Find a methodology that jives with the way you work. 

Remove Any Self-Doubt You May Have

On your journey to achieving success, you will encounter numerous hurdles and challenges. One of the most frightening and debilitating obstacles you will have to overcome will be your self-doubt. This is an equally strong force (but opposite) to self-confidence.  There may come a time as you work toward accomplishing your goals when you will begin to doubt your abilities and will lose your confidence, making it difficult for you to continue to move forward. This is why it is important for you to figure out how to remove self-doubt from the equation and replace it with persistence. 

Make a list of all of your strengths and focus on those for however long it takes to shift your thinking. Tell yourself positive things about yourself and tell yourself that your strengths are enough to move you forward. 

Along with focusing on your strengths, you need to prepare affirmations around your self-doubt and tell yourself that you have faith in your abilities. Repeat those statements several times a day, and within a couple of weeks, you will find that your self-doubt has been reduced. 

Keep track of your progress by recording the steps that you take on your journey. This will help you to track your performance and allow you to become conscious of your accomplishments. When you make a note of your smaller achievements, you become stimulated and stop doubting yourself.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

On your journey to success, you will encounter many stressful events. You may even get hung up on them. Doing this will only drain you of the energy that you could be using to do something more productive. A critical component of persevering is to hone your ability to keep your emotions in check and let go of stress. Maintaining your calm during stressful moments can help you save your valuable energy to be used later doing something better. This can be easier said than done, but you always want to try. 

To stay cool, you need to take some time to think before you speak or act. When something upsetting happens, learn to walk away from the situation and take several deep breaths. Refrain from speaking or acting on a thought until you have thoroughly thought about the issue. Take five to six deep breaths.  Inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Feel your belly distend as you breathe in and out. Soon you will notice that your anger has already started to subside, giving you the clarity to realize that you were upset quite possibly over nothing. Once you can calm the storm inside, you can think clearly and rationally, helping you to save valuable time and energy.  

Emotions are energy in motion: e-motion.  Emotions are wired from past experiences.  They can be roused by things that haven’t even happened if the mind has had time to wire that pattern.  Think worrying…need I say more?  

Emotions are based off the past.  You can do a big fat nothing about the past.  Move on.  Learn to be present and focus on the future goals you have not the past failures you may or may not have had.

Know Your Core Values

The most effective way for you to move forward in any situation is by having a firm grasp on your core values. Knowing your core values will also keep you focused on moving forward to reach your goals. Your core beliefs are the values that you stand for and the principles that you follow in your daily life. 

To figure out what your core values are, you need to learn about different perspectives and figure out what concepts, issues, ideas, and beliefs you feel strongly about. When you find something that actively moves you, you should spend some time meditating on it to know what your subconscious says about it. 

We’ll get into this in Part 4 of this book.  It is there I’ll discuss the power of the mind.  Both the conscious and subconscious aspects of it.  This information is absolutely fascinating and steeped in science.  (SIDE NOTE: I am a science nerd at heart and need to see the data.  I’ll show you where to find it too.)

To meditate on something, you need to find a peaceful spot to sit and think on the subject that influenced you. Take a few deep breaths before you begin to ponder. This helps to relax your mind and slows down your thoughts, allowing you to focus on a single topic. As you start to relax, you’ll want to ruminate on the issue and let your thoughts flow freely. Find out what your mind has to say about the issue and pay attention to how you feel about it. This practice helps you to form the core values that you will always stand for. This will gradually shape your perseverance.

Much of what we think are our core values have been adopted automatically.  When we were young we were constantly downloading from the program we were watching unfold all around us. Our mothers, fathers, teachers and preachers had profound impact on us.  Some of that impact manifests as “what to do” and others aspects, “what not to do”.  Either way we define ourselves based upon modeling others.  Getting to the true core of you takes deliberate thought and the willingness to step away from the familiar to try on something new.  

Keep Pushing Forward

Once you’ve gone through the previous steps, you need to continue to push yourself forward. You already understand that obstacles and setbacks are a part of the journey, and you know what you need to execute and move closer to your goals. Now is the time to give yourself a big push forward and keep moving toward your goals. 

There will be days during your journey when you don’t have the motivation to complete the steps necessary to move closer to your goal. In those times, you need to stick with it and persist. When you experience a setback, take some time to calm yourself and regroup; quickly getting back on track and pushing yourself forward. Don’t give yourself a lot of time to relax because when you remain stagnant for too long, you will begin to lose motivation and interest in your goal. Self-doubt will take the opportunity to wrestle you into submission. 

When you experience disappointment, tell yourself that it’s not the end of the world. Instead of thinking there is no way out, remember why your plan took an unexpected turn. Tell yourself that there is hope and ignite the positivity spark that is in you and you won’t end up giving into your fears.

How to Deal with Unexpected Issues

A vital part of staying persistent and building perseverance as a character trait is to deal with the unexpected challenges and obstacles that you experience in the right way. You need to deal with the hindrances and glitches you encounter rationally, so you can learn from your mistakes. 

Here are three straightforward ways to deal with unexpected issues.

Face the Harsh Reality

You need to stare the harsh realities and challenges that you experience in life right in the face. It is not something that is easy to do, but by doing this, you are given an edge over everyone else. This will help you to manage yourself through each issue. Rather than ignoring a problem, you need to see it for what is, so you can find out how to best deal with it. You need to be truthful and honest with yourself in this regard. You also need to stop playing the blame game. 

You have power over yourself, and if you haven’t been doing anything right, well that is on you too.  So the only person you can blame is yourself. Finally, you need to stop putting things off until tomorrow if you know that you can do something today. Deal with any issues that arise, as they arise. 

Carefully Weigh the Options

When an issue arises, you need to make a cautious, logical, and rational decision on how to deal with the problem rather than making a rash decision and regretting it later. (I’ve never done that myself…*cue the eye roll*) Weighing your options carefully will help you come up with a strategic plan to move forward with your goals.

As important as it is to analyze the situation on your own, it is also wise to get an opinion from someone who is experienced on the subject. Consult with them and consider their suggestions. Then take some time to weigh the pros and cons. Go over the problem a final time and create several plans that can counter it. After you have developed multiple solutions, assess each one individually, then opt for the most logical solution.  The long and the short, don’t automatically react. Take a moment (not a week, not a month, not a year) to regroup, objectively assess, seek counsel, revise your plan and get into motion ASAP.  Being in motion is key.

Listen to Your Gut (The Figurative One)

Your gut or conscience should be your final deciding factor. After you’ve analyzed the entire unexpected issue, you need to listen to your gut to see what it has to say. Sit somewhere quiet and focus on the whole situation, then close your eyes and think about the problem. You will begin to hear some voices, or maybe even see some images. This is your conscience providing you with a message.  It’s not woo-woo, it’s the way our brain is wired. Take the time to ponder what it is saying so you can comprehend the message. This will help you to take the right step forward.

Keep in mind that your thoughts are not always on the side of wild success.  Your mind wants to keep you safe, your brain is literally hardwired to do this.  This is our ever-present buddy Fear.  (I say buddy loosely, but it is like that neighbor kid you grew up with that you let tag along but you never really liked.)

Your mind will spout off thoughts to try to keep you safe from failure, embarrassment, disappointment, and a whole host of other not so fun feelings.  But the key here…they are just feelings.  They will pass.  

Once you’ve completed these steps, you need to stand up for yourself and stand your ground on the decision you’ve made. You may very well have made the wrong choice, but it is important not to back down and to learn from the mistake. This is how successful people gain insight and forge ahead on their path.

It’s not like you chose to fail.  You took a calculated risk and it didn’t pan out.  Big deal.  Next.  

For you to move forward on your path to success, you need to master how to be resilient in everything you want to accomplish.

Channel Your Inner Irishwoman (or Man)

When you hear the word stubborn, what you do you think? If you’re like most people, you instantly picture someone who has bad manners and an ill temper. Stubbornness has gotten a bad reputation, and is often associated with negative traits like defensive, self-centered, overly competitive, and controlling. While many of these characteristics are held by people who are stubborn, being stubborn isn’t an entirely bad thing, especially when it comes to cultivating one’s drive to succeed.

According to Angela Duckworth’s study, stubbornness is a crucial element of grit. Grit gives you the stick-to-it-ness necessary to see your goals through to the end.  It gives you the power to move forward with your goals and ideas.

It Helps You Know What You Desire

Not being easily impressed with every other opinion that comes your way doesn’t mean that you are self-centered. It merely says that you know exactly what you want. Gritty people are stubborn because it helps them understand precisely what they want and don’t want in their life.

When you are clear about your goals, you can make the right decision and pursue your goals without becoming distracted. Gritty people have an amazing focus thanks to their stubbornness. This is why it is a good thing to be stubborn if you want to develop your grit. 

It Makes You Persevere at All Times

When others flounder during a storm, you can keep your head held high, thanks to a solid foundation of stubbornness. It helps you understand that challenges and setbacks are inevitable and that at some point they too shall pass, allowing you to persevere instead of crumbling. Stubbornness is the reason why gritty and successful people can fulfill every goal they set. 

It Makes You Stand by Your Values

Being stubborn means that you are aware of your core principles and that you will stand by them no matter what. It means that you won’t follow the crowds and do something that you don’t want to do. Stubbornness is what makes successful people stay true to their values and stick with what they believe matters most. 

And Finally, It Makes You Defy the Odds

We all know the stats.  So many set out on their ventures to have them subverted within a few years.  The odds are stacked against you.  But stubbornness will help you see past all that stat stuff and dig deep when necessary.  Staying true to yourself.  It is how anybody who has accomplished anything of significance has defied the odds. 

Receive a weekly email with the highlights...

I post prolifically on a variety of topics we midlife women need to talk about.

No need to hunt around for the latest blog post or podcast episode...let my team do that for you!

Tell us where to send the weekly highlights, links and prose to ponder, and we'll fire them off to you every Saturday morning so you can enjoy your morning beverage with a hearty helping of Dr. Sam to kick off the weekend.

I treat your email address as my own. I will never SPAM you, nor sell your info. That is so uncool! FYI, you should receive a short welcome note from me. Since we're newly acquainted, please check your "Junk" or "SPAM" folders if you don't see it within a minute or two!